


The Alpha Hotel

by SigneHansen



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Derek owns a hotel, Hotels, Laura is a HBIC, M/M, Stiles is a hotel reviewer, they are both idiots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-27 21:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SigneHansen/pseuds/SigneHansen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Stiles reviews hotels for a living, Derek is a grumpy, surly hotel-owner, Scott is a good friend and Laura is a crazy boss who's also pretty much the best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is really out of the blue and weird, but here goes! I'm hoping to update as often as possible, but since I'm a) working on my BA-project, b) working like a crazy person, c) going to classes and d) fucking lazy, I can't promise anything...  
> Feel free to go pester me here though: http://aconstipatedmeerkat.tumblr.com
> 
> Also, like all my other works (crap/shit/whatever) this hasn't been beta'ed... Sorry

Okay, so… When Stiles decided on becoming a hotel reviewer (yes, that was totally a real job) he had kind of hoped he’d be sent to awesome places like Hawaii, Australia or Papua New Guinea (wherever that was… he’d always kind of thought it sounded like a really angry, but kind of cute, little bird… ANYHOW) but apparently his editor-in-chief wasn’t really in on this idea… Which was why he was now sitting, once again, at a pretty horrible hotel. This one was even literally next door to his apartment. No, not literally like in figuratively (which by the way: weird) but literally as in, he could see the side of his apartment building, when he looked out of the dirty windows. Yeah, so he should probably also mention the fact that Laura (previously mentioned editor-in-chief) had it out for him and only sent him to horrible, stinky, disgusting, _brown_ hotels…

_Queens Park hotel is exactly like you’d imagine, except… Not. If you enjoy brown chairs, brown carpets, brown bedsheets, brown walls, brown curtains and yes, even brown ceilings, you are a) weird and b) exactly the ideal person to stay at this, uhm, “hotel”. There is literally nothing appealing about either the interior or the exterior. Both appear to date back to sometime in the 70s when the color brown was connected to fashion and beauty, and not dirt and, sorry, shit…_

_On the upside! If you are a very lonely person, the hotel offers free company. Say hi to Frank:_

_ _

Stiles closed his computer and drew the blanket close around his shoulders. It should be added that he brought the blanket himself. Don’t let it be said that he didn’t learn from previous mistakes. He shuddered at the thought. One could get in contact with one too many dead cockroaches… And living for that matter!

His phone rang, and he gingerly reached out to grab it on the, only slightly, dusty bedside table.

“Stiles can’t come to the phone right now, as he is busy being eaten by cockroaches in a shady hotel literally next to his own apartment”

“Stop being such a drama queen. I bet you’re going to like the next assignment I have for you.”

“Why do I feel more scared than excited, whenever you say that?”

“This one is actually not even in your neighbourhood”

“I’m listening…”

“Have you heard of The Alpha Hotel?”

“The one in Beacon Hills? Jesus Christ, Laura!”

“Relax, Stil…”

“RELAX?! Laura! Every single person who has tried to review that hotel has been kicked out… And by kicked out I mean: Actually kicked! As in, the owner physically _kicked_ out his guests. Laura, the guy who owns the hotel is freaking crazy.”

“I’ll tell him you said so. He just so happens to be my brother.”

“…”

“Stiles?”

“MR. CRAZY-ASS-WEIRDO-HERMIT IS YOUR BROTHER!?”

“He usually goes by ‘Derek’… But I see your point”

“Laura, he spends his life running a tiny inn in the middle of nowhere, which, okay, I’ll admit, is kind of charming… IF HE DIDN’T LITERALLY KICK PEOPLE OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR WHENEVER THEY TRY TO WRITE NICE THINGS ABOUT PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED INN”

“Relax Stiles, he won’t kick you out, if you act professionally. And besides, I already called him. You’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Act prof… I swear to god Laura if your hermit of a brother kicks me out, I will… No wait, actually: IF I do this, you’ll send me to Hawaii on my next assignment.”

“First of all, there is no ‘if’, I’m your boss and you do as I say or you’re out of a job, okay? Second of all… There _is_ this hotel in Rome I was think…”

“I’M IN!”

“Good. I’ll arrange to have a car pick you up at your current… Hotel? Tomorrow morning.”

And with that, she hung up leaving Stiles to feel both scared, annoyed, pissed off and slightly excited.

____

8 hours later (3 of which were spent lying awake, listening to tiny cockroach-feet running around the room, 2 were spent finishing his angry review and the remaining 3 hours were spent sleeping) he was standing outside Queens Park Hotel waiting for a cab.

_“Dude, Laura told me you were going to The Alpha Hotel. Are you gonna be okay?”_

Stiles could always count on Scott having his back. He could also always count on Scott knowing things about him literally seconds after they happened. Maybe that was the perks of dating the daughter of a guy who’d decided to date Laura. Stiles had never actually met Allison’s dad, but he was pretty sure he couldn’t be completely normal. What with dating Laura and all.

 _“Yeah… I mean, I have to be. Laura promised me a trip to Rome afterwards and there is no way in_ HELL _I am missing out on that.”_

_“Awesome! But seriously though, I checked out the weather in Beacon Hills, and there’s like this gigantic blizzard coming.”_

_“Are you KIDDING me?!”_

_“Nope”_

_“Sweet fucking… No. I’m doing this. Rome. Rome. Rome. That’ll be my mantra. And besides, at least the snow will smooth my fall, when the owner does, eventually, kick me out.”_

_“You sure?”_

_“Yup! Oh! Also: Did you know the owner was Laura’s brother?!”_

_“Oh… Wait… Seriously? Derek’s the owner?”_

_“You know him?!”_

_“Yeah, I mean. I met him at this family-thing with Allison last year.”_

_“TELL ME EVERYTHING”_

_“I think it’s better if you form your own opinion of him ;)”_

_“What’s that supposed to mean?”_

_“Scott?”_

_“SCOTT?!”_

_“Just wait and see. Have fun!”_

_“SCOTT?!?!?!?!”_

His best friend was a fucking douche.

____ 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically:  
> http://www.ludumdare.com/compo/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/i-have-no-idea-what-im-doing-dog.jpg
> 
> Again: Not beta'ed, and written in a hurry. So sorry for any mistakes there may or may not be (there definitely will be some, so sorry)

A couple of hours later, Stiles was standing in the middle of nowhere. No, seriously. The cab had, for some reason or other, decided to stop working, which meant he was stranded with a very distressed cab driver. Who didn’t really speak English that well…

He had called Laura who, of course, had just laughed at him and hung up. Then he called Scott who had changed his answering machine to “I can’t come to the phone right now. If this is Stiles I refuse to talk to you until you return to New York, you’ll understand. Leave a message!”

Then, because this was just his life, his phone had decided to die on him and since they were in the middle of nowhere he couldn’t get any power.

Great.

“So Vladimir. I don’t suppose you have a cell phone anywhere?”

“I have phone”

“Great! Can I borrow it?”

“I… Have phone?”

“Can I” Stiles gestured to himself, using his fingers to show a phone “borrow it?”

“Call help?”

“Yes! Exactly! Call for help!”

“Okay” Vladimir opened the glove department of the cab he was still currently sitting in, and went back to sulking and trying to turn on the car again. And again.

This time he called his dad. He knew it was a low blow because his dad would definitely be pretty pissed off at the fact that he had no time to visit him, even though he was actually _in Beacon Hills._

“Hello?”

“Hey dad, so… Get this. I’m on my way to this hotel, right? And the cab basically just breaks down. So now I’m stuck in the middle of nowhere, and my phone is dead and, uhm, could you help?”

“Slow down there, son! Where are you?”

“… About 50 minutes outside of Beacon Hills?”

“Beacon Hills…”

“Sorry, but… Laura told me this morning and I don’t have time to visit, which sucks but… Look on the bright side! At least now you’ll get to see me, yeah?”

“I’ll send a tow truck. Where exactly are you?”

“Uhm? Somewhere between a field and, uhm, well, a field? There’s a sign pointing to Beacon Hills though. And some tall trees!”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

“You rock, dad!”

The sheriff hung up and Stiles proceeded to do, what he liked to call his my-dad-is-awesome-dance.

“Vladimir, my man! Good news – we’re being saved!”

“Saved?”

“Yup, the cavalry is on their way.”

Vladimir looked at him and tilted his head in a gesture that seemed to indicate that he had no fucking idea what Stiles was trying to say.

“We” – he gestured to the both of them – “are getting help!”

“Help?”

“Help!”

“HELP!” Vladimir sprang out of the car and jumped happily on the spot. Stiles was surprised by the reaction, but before he knew it, he was jumping along next to Vladimir, laughing like a child (or a slightly deranged crazy person).

___

“So you didn’t plan on telling me you were coming to Beacon Hills, huh?”

“Dad, I told you. Laura only told me this morning. And if I had time, I would totally have visited you!”

“Mhm”

“Daaaaaaad” Stiles whined, because he knew that was the best way of getting his dad to forgive him “I’m so sorry. I promise to come up another weekend. Soon!”

His dad sighed, but Stiles could see he was trying to suppress a smile, which meant he’d won and everything was back to normal.

“So, the Alpha Hotel, huh?”

“Yup”

“Derek Hale’s place”

“So I’m told”

“He’s a good kid.”

“He’s what now?”

“What? Derek’s nice”

“How do you know Derek?”

“We watch ball together sometimes. He’s a good kid, Stiles.”

“But dad. He’s literally thrown people out of his hotel. Like, literally. Kicked them out. For no reason”

“I’m sure he had a reason”

“Why are… Forget it. Just… Pick me up when he’s kicked me out, yeah?”

“He won’t kick you out.”

“Just say yes, dad”

“Whatever you say, son.”

___

So, Derek’s place was nice. More than nice. It was the freaking most idyllic place Stiles had ever set foot. Seriously. Not only was it in the middle of the forest, which was currently covered in a pretty layer of white snow, it was one of those old houses straight out of The Notebook. Not that Stiles had seen The Notebook more than 10 times. And he definitely didn’t cry at the end. Nope. That would be lame… Anyhow: The place was pretty. And so was the guy currently approaching him.

No, holy shit.

Ryan Gosling go home.

Noah ain’t got nothing on you, was all Stiles could think as he watched Hugh Jackman light move closer.

He was wearing black tight-fitting pants and a white shirt, equally tight-fitting. And boy did they do good things to his body. Or maybe his body did good things to the clothes. Either way, he was smoking hot.

He also looked a bit pissed, which was of course just a good look for him. Lucky bastard.

Stiles looked more like a constipated meerkat when he was pissed. (He had to stop watching so much Miranda)

“Hey” Mr. tall, dark and handsome said. Well, more like growled.

Stiles wanted to respond, he really did, but Tight Pants guy’s eyes were as distracting as the rest of him. And his eyebrows. Holy fucking shit. Finally he managed to stutter out something vaguely resembling a “Hi”

“Can I help you with your luggage?” What he said was polite enough, but Mr. You-Have-A-Free-Pass-Into-My-Pants looked more like he wanted to kill Stiles. Which wasn’t a bad look on him either.

“It’s okay? I can carry them myself?”

Cutie-Patootie (okay, the nicknaming had to stop) rolled his eyes, and picked up Stiles meager luggage, turned around and headed inside, with a confused Stiles on his heels.

“So, I’m here on business? Laura, my boss, well more like my slave worker am-I-right?” Hot Stuff didn’t seem like he thought he was right, so Stiles continued “uhm, well. She sent me. I’m supposed to write a review?”

“I know.”

“Oh, okay right.”

He then proceeded to zone out for a second, because Hotel Hottie reached for something on the wall which made his shirt ride up a little and the exposed skin was almost too much for Stiles to handle on an empty stomach. Lord have mercy on my horny soul, he thought to himself.

“Room 13”

“What?”

“Your keys. To your room. Room 13” McDreamy (damn, now he was recycling nicknames) deadpanned and handed him his key.

“Oh! Thank you. Sorry. I just… I thought I had to talk to the owner first?”

“You are”

Oh. Oh shit. So Hottie McBabe Numero Uno was Derek Hale. Derek-I-kick-people-out-because-of-nothing-Hale. Shit.

“Oh”

“I need your name though”

“I… Uhm… Stiles Stilinski?” Hot…Derek raised a (perfectly sculpted) eyebrow at him.

“You’re the Sheriff’s son?”

“Oh yeah, that’s right! You’re dating my dad. I mean! NO! Not dating! Because my dad isn’t dating. Well he _is_. Just not... He’s not dating men. Not that you would date me. Men! Men… I mean. I date men. I’m gay. I’m. Shit. No sorry. I mean. My dad would not date you because you’re a man. Not because you’re not hot because holy shit you are but he’s dating Scott’s mom and… You’re not Scott’s mom?”

“I’m not”

“Right. Glad we got that sorted. I mean… My dad mentioned that he was seeing you”

Derek looked equal parts constipated, angry and amused.

“NO! Oh god here we go again. My dad said you were a nice young man.”

At this point Stiles’ face was the color of a very ripe tomato and he kind of wanted to bury himself in a very, very deep grave.

“You know what. I think I’ll just take my bags and go to my room. Room 13 right?”

Derek looked at him, a small smile playing at his lips, and nodded.

“Cool. Great. I’ll tell my dad you said hi. Actually, no. Scratch that. He’ll probably disown me for suggesting you were dating. So, uhm. Great meeting you!” Then he ran up the stairs, falling halfway, hurting his leg, cursing loudly and then finally he reached room no. 13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again: Go stalk me, complain, talk, whichever to me here  
> http://aconstipatedmeerkat.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> This is really only the beginning, so... Be gentle, yeah?  
> And again:  
> Ask me stuff (or stalk me, if you want) here:http://aconstipatedmeerkat.tumblr.com


End file.
